I Tried 3 Layers of AI Code Review So Your Diff Doesn't Have To

I shipped 3 bugs after 'looks good to me' AI code review last quarter I had one of those quarters where every PR went through an AI reviewer, every PR got a friendly "LGTM with minor suggestions", and three of those PRs still managed to wedge production. One was an N+1 query that only appeared when a customer hit a specific endpoint with than 50 items. One was a missing await that the AI cheerfully ignored because the code "looked async-ish". One was a permission check we removed and nobody, human or model, flagged it.